I Love Him, I Love You
by everyday-is-masloween
Summary: When Carlos' boyfriend Zayn wants some alone time after his mom dies, Carlos takes it as an opportunity to catch up with his childhood best friend, James Diamond. But will everything change? Will Carlos have to make decisions too hard to make? Jarlos slash. Also this is a BTR/1D story. M to be safe.
1. Zayn

Chap 1 Zayn

As they walked down the L.A. beach, Carlos squeezed Zayn's hand, to silently let his boyfriend know he was there for them. Zayn had recently lost his mother and was trying to act tough like usual, but Carlos knew better. Zayn was falling apart. Carlos knew Zayn inside and out. Even before they started dating, they were like two peas in a pod. Carlos never really talked to his cousins much, but when he met Zayn, his cousin's cousin, they just clicked. They became best friends. Zayn went back to his home country, England, for a while, and then came back. And now that they were 17, Carlos had realized all the love he kept inside for Zayn, that has been there all along, he just didn't realized it. They were hopelessly in love ever since their reunion, but their friendship just wasn't the same. Carlos felt like he didn't really know Zayn that much anymore. He met knew friends. But he still loved him.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come over, baby? I can make you dinner. It will make you feel much better." Carlos coaxed, putting a hand on Zayn's shoulder and squeezing. Zayn shook his head.

"No," he whispered in his silky British accent. "I want to be alone."

"So alone...with your family, right?"

Zayn let out a sad sigh. "Yes, Carlos."

Carlos kissed Zayn on the cheek, smoothing out his jelled up hair. "Okay. I'll see you whenever you've finished coping, alright?"

Carlos noticed Zayn was tearing up. He decided it was best not to mention it. Zayn took a deep breath, gave Carlos a sad smile, and forced out a quiet, "Alright."

The two broke apart and Carlos watched his boyfriend walk away, to his beach house right at the shore. Carlos waved goodbye, knowing Zayn couldn't see him, but not caring. He hated seeing Zayn so sad. Zayn was usually funny and sarcastic and hyped up, when he was not being shy or mysterious. He had multiple personalities. And so did Carlos. Perfect.

Carlos shrugged to himself and began walking to a beach house about 6 houses down from Zayn's: The Diamond Mansion. Zayn wasn't the only one who had made new friends. But at the same time, James Diamond wasn't exactly a new friend. They had been best friends ever since they played hockey together in Kindergarten, and then in 3rd grade, Carlos moved to California, met Zayn, and never came back. But then James totally surprised him by moving to California. Unfortunately, it was around the same time Zayn came back and they started dating, so Carlos didn't have much time for James. Zayn coping for his mother's death was a great time for them to catch up. And Carlos knew he shouldn't be happy about his boyfriend's mom dying, but he was happy that he could spend more time with his best friend.

* * *

What did you think? I thought of this idea in CHURCH as usual. I've been wondering if there was any BTR/1D stories. It's interesting to read with a British accent in your head, huh?

Don't worry, this is still a Jarlos fanfic, I promise. And not just friendship. ;)

So, yeah, here's the first chapter. Please R&R!

-datsRUSHERiffic


	2. Reunited

Chap. 2 Reunited

Once Carlos reaches the door, he pales. Realizing, _What if James doesn't remember me? What if he's mad that I didn't do this before? What if he found another best friend?_

Carlos shakes his head, thinking, _No, I will not believe that. James is my best friend. _Carlos knocks on the door, still unsure. Carlos freezes as he hears a part British part Irish accent call, "It's open!" Carlos decided on assuming it was his mom's friend or maybe a butler or cleaning maid. Carlos pushed the door in a little bit, only to hear James grumbling,

"I swear, if it's those Girl Scouts again, I'm going to kill someone because you know how much those girls annoy the fuck outta me..."

He heard the accented voice again. "Yes, yes, love. I know. But you're really hot when you're mad." That killed him. Carlos did a faace-palm. It never occured to him that James might have a _boyfriend. _Sure, Carlos knew he was gay, but Carlos thought James had moved to California just to see him. James came to the door. Next thing you know James had Carlos caught up in a huge hug.

"Carlos!" James exclaimed, holding him by the shoulders and pulling back to take a good look at his old best friend. "It's about time you came to see me!" Carlos was relieved. At least James actually remembered him.

"Sorry, you see, my cousin's cousin Zayn came back from England around the time you moved here, so I started hanging out with him more. And, well, now we're dating." Carlos replied sheepishly, as if James would get mad since he found a boyfriend. But then again, James found one too.

James nodded. "Oh cool, that's really-"

"Wait. Your Zayn's boyfriend? Does his name happen to be Zayn Malik?" the accented voice cut off. Carlos saw the boy stand up and walk to the door. He had bleach blonde white hair, large sparkling eyes, and a cute smile. No wonder James fell in love with him. Carlos nodded in response, thinking how much of a coincedence that was. James turned to hsi boyfriend.

"Wait, Niall, you know Carlos' boyfriend?"

Niall nodded. "Yeah. He was one of my mates back in England! You know them, right James?"

James raised an eyebrow, implying that, no he did not know them. Niall sighed.

"You know, Zayn, Harry, Louis, and Liam? The ones I was skyping with?"

James nodded. "Ohh...now I know what you're talking about. Hey babe, by the way, you need to go check if the pizza is done cooking." James replied, giving Niall a kiss on the cheek, and a gentle nudge to go back inside. Carlos assumed James had just said that so he could talk to Carlos without distractions.

James turned to him. "So, how have you been? Do you still wear your helmet?"

Carlos looked away. Talking about Helmet was always a touchy subject for him. "Well...I do sometimes actually. But, Zayn told me it looks silly, so he tells me not to wear it when we go out."

James scoffed. "Uh! He did not!" James said, sounding astonished, like one of those gossiping teenage girls you see on TV shows.

Carlos shrugged. "Yeah, yeah he did. What about you? Is the comb still lucky enough for you?"

James nodded, hands in pockets, rocking from his toes to his heels awkwardly, puffing out his cheeks and letting out the air. He paused.

"Oh, where are my manners? Carlos, get your ass inside my house." James said with a laugh, grabbing Carlos' hand and pulling him inside. If this wasn't James, Carlos would be blushing up a storm.

* * *

Sorry chapters are so short. Is the 1D crossover working out smoothly? I think this is a really interesting expiriment...and Zayn+Carlos and Niall+James is really cute, I think. :3

R&R. Read my other stories. Blah blah blah. Blah.

-datsRUSHERiffic


	3. Fun

Chap. 3 Fun

Carlos playfully pushed James as James pushed him into his mansion with such force. And _wow _it was beautiful. The ceilings were high, decorated with chandeleirs, and there were several fancy couches to choose from. There was even a huge flat screen TV and an Xbox and Play Station 3. Sweet.

"_Whoa! _And I thought your apartment in Minnesota was amazing, but this..." Carlos couldn't even describe it. James was so lucky. And Niall too. He probably lives here all alone with James.

"Oh, it's no big deal. I bet your house has some pretty sweet stuff too."

Carlos frowned. James had said his house has some _pretty sweet stuff, _not he bet he had a _pretty sweet house. _James probably sensed Carlos couldn't afford a huge mansion...and he was right. Carlos lived in the Palm Woods in his own apartment. And yes in fact it had some pretty sweet stuff, like for example,a swirly slide.

James cleared his throat. Carlos hadn't noticed, but he was standing there like an idiot while James had already settled himself in a comfy looking recliner. Carlos began walking over to select a couch, when Niall walked in with a large bowl. He smiled a fake looking smile at Carlos, set the bowl down, and stood in front of James' chair.

"Listen, darling, I've got to run, I'm afraid. Zayn just texted me and asked me to come over. Must be important." Niall said in a rush, srolling through the text message. He leaned over to kiss James. "See you later, love. Don't fall asleep without me." he replied with a wink, and then left. Carlos couldn't help but feel slightly hurt that Zayn had asked Niall to come and not him. But he had James so it was alright.

Carlos blinked at James awkwardly. He wished it was like old times and things weren't so awkward.

"Niall seems really nice. He has a cool accent." Carlos softly said.

James nodded. "Yeah, he is. I think he's Irish but England really affected his voice," James replied looking up, as if thinking. "Anyways, enough about my boyfriend, let's hear about you. How's life these days?"

"Pretty awesome, actually! I got an awesome new apartment to myself, I've found a part time job as Gustavo Rocque's assistant, Zayn's doing better I think..." he lied about that last part. Just today, Zayn had said he wanted alone time, away from him. "and, well I also...you know what, I'm bored of talking. Can I eat whatever's in that bowl?"

Carlos was curious to see what mysterious British snack Niall had made...and was surprised to see what it was. Popcorn. Regular, extra butter, completely American, popcorn. James peered into the bowl and got an idea.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?"

A grin erupted on both of there faces. "Popcorn basketball?" the both of them suggested. They played this all of the time in Minnesota, as kids. Carlos laid himself down on the couch opposite from James' recliner, but James apparently did not approve.

"No, sit in this chair with me. I'm not exactly good enough to shoot that far..." James admitted, pointing to the couch Carlos sat on as if it were miles away. Carlos shrugged and approached James' chair. But wait...

"Um, how am I supposed to fit here exactly? You and your fat ass are taking up too much space." Carlos said, laughing. They were always joking around like this.

James ignored his first question. "You're the one with the fat ass Carlos. Have you seen it lately?"

Carlos scoffed. "Don't insult my ass!" Carlos replied with fake resent.

"Fine. Your ass is very cute, Carlos."

A smug look crossed Carlos' face. He smiled a fake smile. "Aww, you're so sweet." In a sarcastic baby voice type tone. He chuckled. Only them two could get into a conversation like this and forget it ever happened. "Again, how do I fit in tihs chair with you and your _hot _ass taking up too much space?" Carlos asked, stressing the word hot so they wouldn't get off topic again.

James had a satisfied look on his face. He always plays to win.

"Well, you could do what we used to do in Minnesota...and lay down on my lap?"

This request would've sounded weird from anyone else, but this is James. And all they were doing was playing popcorn basketball. What's the harm?

"Okay." Carlos agreed, positioning himself on James' lap and laying back. He opened his mouth and watched James throw popcorn up in the air, and then munched on the ones that actually didn't miss.

Just like old times.

...

About 8 hours later, it was 1:00 and Niall finally arrived back home. He quietly unlocked the door, just in case James was already sleeping, but Niall secretly hoped he had stayed up to wait for him. As he walked into the living room, he stopped in his tracks. Carlos. James' friend was still here. And that's not the worst part, he was sleeping on the lap of his boyfriend, who in fact had not waited for Niall. Niall's eyes narrowed.

"Well two can play at that game."

* * *

Ooooh...suspense! I hoped you guys enjoyed this! I just woke up so sorry if some parts weren't, you know...good. Please R&R! I need reviews!

-datsRUSHERiffic


	4. Kiss

Chap. 4 Kiss

Carlos woke up like he always did, screaming in his head, "WHERE THE FUCK AM I?" Only to realize that he was lying on top of James in a big recliner. He blushed to himself. Carlos could've sworn he was laying the other way. Carlos raised his head, and that was all it took to wake up James. He wasn't a heavy sleeper.

"Morning." James yawned, stretching his arms, trying not to make Carlos fall off. Aparently the positioon didn't seem awkward to James.

"Hey. You know what's funny? I don't even remember falling asleep." Carlos admitted with a chuckle, flipping himself over so he was siimply sitting on James' lap. James chuckled back.

"I know. I think we were playing popcron basketball, and then you nearly choked on some so we stopped...oh yeah, and then we were watching _Gossip Girl _or something, and you fell asleep first. I didn't want to wake you, because you're really irritable when woken up, so I let you sleep here and I fell asleep too." James explained without hesitation, finally remembering last night. He wasn't exactly sure why they watched the entire collection of _Gossip Girl _until 1:00 in the morning.

Carlos nodded, started getting up, but settled back down, feeling tired just thinking about of a sudden he was in half-asleep mode.

"Wait. I don't feel like getting up. I'm tired. I hate noise. Go away." Carlos mumbled, resting his head back on james' chest, closing his eyes. James frowns.

"See what I mean by irritable?"

"Shut up. I hate noise. Go away."

James laughs it off and then once he's sure Carlos has gone to sleep again, he wraps his hands around Carlos' waist and picks him up and off the recliner. James started walking towards the kitchen, when he sensed Carlos was awake. His eyes shot open in terror.

"Hey! Go away! Put me down! Stranger danger, stranger danger!" Carlos screamed, flailing his arms and legs in every which way. James ignores the movement and keeps on walking.

...

Once James sets down Carlos in the kitchen, all Carlos can think to do is scowl.

"Why'd you pick me up?" Carlos grumbles in an irritated tone. He wasn't half-asleep or tired anymore, but that doesn't mean he was happy.

James shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't want to waste a whole day with you just sitting on my chair. That would be stupid."

"You're stupid."

James sighed. He loved Carlos, but Carlos really was a piece of work. "Okay, how about we stop arguing, and go play a nice, friendly game?" James suggested, adding a sweet smile and a thumbs up for emphasis.

Carlos grinned. Sometimes, they could just read each other's minds. "You wanna play the strength test game?" Carlos asked innocently, knowing the answer already.

"Fuck yeah."

...

Carlos tightened his grip on James' shoulders, pressing foreward with his forehead, eager and up for a challenge. They had been ready

James easily stood his ground. "Easy there, tiger. We haven't even started yet."

Carlos flashed a wicked grin. "Well in that case...123 GO!" Carlos shouted about as fast as he could, catching his opponent off guard. _Here's my chance, _Carlos thought, pushing with all his might. And just as Carlos almost had James pushed against the wall, James came to reality and pushed in the opposite direction.

"Oh, I don't think so." James panted, and in a split second he had Carlos, who was struggling and thrashing wildly, pinned up against the other wall. Carlos stopped moving exhausted, and settled, arms pinned on either side of his head, forehead against James'. He was _tired. _All he could really do now was watch the glistening in James' eyes. James gave him a look that said, _Give up? _

Carlos stared back.

_Hell no._

And again, Carlos tried channeling all of his inner strength, but James was too _damn strong. _Carlos sighed.

"I lied. I give up. You win. Woo." Carlos cheered unenthusiastically and relaxed-or he got as much relaxed as he could being pinned up against a wall. James smiled, satisfied.

"So, can you let me go now?" Carlos pleaded, squirming uncomfortably.

James looked down at Carlos. "What?-oh, sure." James loosened his grip, but kept Carlos in place. He took a moment just to take in their close proximity, the way their bodies were pressed together, their faces centimeters apart.

And then he got a strange feeling. It was tingly. It was like a feeling of need and want...but James didn't know what for. James did a double take. He and Carlos were very intimately close at this moment...and James was feeling like he _needed _something. Then in struck.

James should've known. _Faces centimeters apart. Need. Want. _The closeness they shared had brought James to think...

That he wanted to kiss him.

Maybe it was hormones or maybe James was just being impulsive again...but that's exactly what he did. Their lips met, slowly and softly, and as that happened, Carlos froze in place. James was _kissing _him. Carlos wasn't expecting anything like this from his best friend and he didn't really _want _James to kiss him. But before you know it, Carlos was kissing back. But no, not slowly. The contact became fiery and intense, tongues got involved...and then they remembered that they had to breathe at some point. James pulled back and stared at Carlos, who just blushed and looked away.

Carlos turned to stare at James with big doe eyes filled with worry and love. "Th-that was um, uhh..." Carlos was at a loss of words. Was he supposed to say he liked it? That he wanted James to do that again?

James shook his head. "Carlos..." James whispered, face covered in guilt. "I'm sorry. That was wrong."

"No, don't apologize...I kind of liked that," Carlos whispered shamefully, unable to find his usual loud voice. And as James smiled down at him and began to lean forward again, Carlos paled. He brought a hand up to James' chest to gently push him away.

"No! James, no, we can't. Wh-what about Zayn and Niall?" Carlos stuttered, concerned eyes fixed on James'. James looked as if he were just getting lost in Carlos' presence. And he hated to admit it, but James was almost going to say, "Who's Zayn and Niall?" But then it was all coming back to them. Zayn. Niall. Their _boyfriends. _James looked down, and ran hand through his own hair.

"Shit. I am so sorry...I never should've kissed you. Niall's gonna freak." James said, shaking his head in disbelief.

But that's not what Carlos wanted. He didn't want James to tell his boyfriend that he kissed him. Niall would hate him...and James. Plus, what about Zayn? Niall would for sure tell him and Zayn-along with him and Zayn's cousin-would hate Carlos forever. And Zayn's mother just died. This was awful.

And partly, he didn't want James to tell Niall because...he kind of wanted him and James' short time of love to extend. They both liked the kiss. So, why not? But wouldn't that be _cheating? _Carlos would not cheat on Zayn. But, James...

Carlos felt his insides burn up with conflict. What should he say? "But what if Niall doesn't find out..." Carlos whispered, unsure of how James would react to that. James looked up.

"You mean you don't want me to tell Niall we kissed? Just let it all blow over, like it never happened?"

That's not exactly what Carlos was going for.

Carlos took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. "Okay, don't hate me for this...but I was thinking about how, you know, we kissed. We both liked it, and I _know_ this wasn't just hormones, I just felt it, and-"

"So, you're saying you think the kiss happened because of some secret love we have between us? And you want to take that secret love...and maybe turn it into a relationship maybe?"

Carlos was awestruck. James really did know him too well. "Actually, yes. That's exactly it...but I don't know how I feel about cheating on Zayn. And when he gets over his mom's death, we'll start dating again, and I can't be in both relationships at once..." Carlos blabbered, worried out of his mind.

"Carlos, that's what cheating is."

"Who gives a fuck about what you call it, James? I don't feel good about doing that to Zayn!" Carlos shouted, not needing any of James' talk right now.

James raised his hands up in defeat. "Okay, okay. Calm down. You should really call up that therapist you used to see-"

Carlos let out an exasperated sigh. James was so difficult to work with.

"Can't you just shut up and kiss me?" Carlos suggested, resting his hands on James' shoulders.

"Anytime."

* * *

Yay, long chapter. o('_'o) (o'_'o) (o'_')o Jarlos, finally!

Did everything happen too fast? I mean, they just met again and now they're getting into a relationship...hmm... Just review. Tell me what you hated. Tell me what you loved. Sorry for the wait because of writer's block/general laziness.

-datsRUSHERiffic


	5. Niall

I Love Him, I Love You

Chap. 5 Niall

Niall grimaced at the scene taking place outside his window. He had opened the windows after emerging from his shower, only to hear commotion outside. And when he peeked through, down below he saw his boyfriend making out with his so called friend. Niall sneered and slammed the window shut, angry at James and at his friend. _How dare he kiss my boyfriend right where I could see it, right on my own property? _Niall thought bitterly. _The nerve of some people...there's only one way to get back at them for this... _Niall smirked, planning what would happen next.

He took out his iPhone and went to his contact list, scrolling down until he found the right name. He smiled when he found it and pressed call.

"Hello?" he heard a weary accented voice say on the other end.

"Hey Zayn," Niall replied. "Your family home?"

"No, I-"

"Brilliant. I'll be there in 10."

And with that, he hung up.

* * *

Niall arrived at Zayn's doorstep just as he said he would, feeling more mischevious than angry now. He knocked twice, paused, and then added another long knock. It was their signal to let each other know who they were. The door opened, revealing a tired looking Zayn in a t-shirt and boxers, with his normally gelled up hair tousled.

"Hello, Niall." Zayn said, emotionless.

"Aw, Zayn, are you stressed?"

Zayn nodded and jerked his head towards the inside, signaling Niall to come in. He happily followed.

Once inside, Niall plopped down like this was his own home. He put his feet up and grabbed the remote. "So, how about a movie Zayn?"

Zayn sat beside him and sighed. "Sure, go ahead. You can pick."

"Great! I'll go make some popcorn."

* * *

Back at home, James was holding Carlos' hand and helping him out of the pool. They had had a fantastic morning of swimming and kissing, but now that was all over because Carlos had to go do chores at home.

After they emerged from the pool, Carlos his arms around James for one more kiss and then smiled.

"See you later, James!" Carlos called as he exited James house from the gate.

James waved, grinning like an idiot. He was so happy. "Wait! I didn't get your number!"

Carlos turned back around. "That's alright, _I'll _call _you_!" he winked and walked away, drying himself with his towel. James sighed and went back inside his house, which now felt so empty without Carlos or Niall. Speaking of Niall, where was he?

"Niall!" James called, his voice echoing through the large house. No response. James decided on calling Niall instead. He pulled out his iPhone and smiled at his new wallpaper, a cute picture of Carlos that Carlos had installed himself. He chuckled and went to the contacts list and found Niall's name. He clicked call.

"Hello?" he heard a British voice that wasn't his boyfriend's say. He heard a faint, "Give it back!" and some laughter before he heard a familiar voice.

"Hello, who is this?" Niall asked cheerily, still laughing a little bit.

James furrowed his eyebrows. "Uh, it's James. Where are you?"

The laughing died. "Oh, hello." Niall greeted him again, a little coldly. "I'm at a friend's house."

James nodded to himself. "Oh...which one? Harry...Louis...Liam?"

"Zayn."

James felt a weird feeling in his gut when he heard the name. Zayn as in Carlos' boyfriend. Zayn the super hot British guy who was getting so much sympathy because his mom died. James cleared his throat to speak again.

"Oh, um, I thought he was staying home alone with his family."

James sat there for a second, listening intently to some muffled laughs and talking. He heard a noise and Niall was back on. "Oh well he is. He just invited me over though. He wanted some company."

"Why didn't he call Carlos then?"

The line was silent for a moment.

"Look, I'm not an expert on Zayn's ways of thinking. So why don't you just ask your 'little friend' _Carlos _instead?" Niall spat out. His bitter tone surprised James.

"Uh, well I gotta go Niall. See you at home?"

Niall took a breath. "_Sure_." he said bitterly and hung up.

James furrowed his eyebrows when he put down the phone, wondering "What just happened?" He shrugged and walked upstairs, muttering, "_Weird..._" under his breath.

* * *

*2 hours later*

James poked his head in between the railing upstairs when he heard the door swing open. Seeing nothing, he decided to go downstairs.

"Niall?" James asked cautiously. "Is that you?" He peered around the corner and walked into the living room, finding Niall in front of the front door tying his shoe.

"So, how was Zayn's house?"

He hadn't meant to startle him, but Niall had looked up and jumped, like, ten feet.

"Oh, sorry, didn't see you there." Niall said sheepishly, getting up on his feet. "It was...nice." As soon as he finished talking, Niall quickly pushed past James, heading for upstairs-

"Hey Niall, why's your shirt backwards?"

Niall swiveled around to face him. "Oh, um, well we went to the mall a little and tried on clothes. I guess I wasn't paying enough attention." He turned back and quickly sped away.

_What's up with him? _James thought to himself.

* * *

Sucky ending...sorry. Hope you enjoyed! Sorry for taking so long to update! Crazy first two weeks of school!

-datsRUSHERiffic


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